Since losing both of my grandmothers last year I find some moments during the holiday season bittersweet. This year I was able to suppress most of my grief, but it always seems to hit in the car in the mornings. Perfect timing to ruin my newly applied make-up for the day! I have so so many wonderful memories of my Grandma and Granny during the holidays and I'd like to share a few with you!
- Grandma's spaghetti on Christmas Eve. When I was young I used to think everyone had spaghetti on Christmas Eve. They should!
- Granny's Christmas Day feast. Especially the macaroni and cheese and apples. Still haven't found a recipe like her mac and cheese and her apples were phenomenal warm, cold, or at room temperature. Grandma Kearney makes a mean baked apples, but there was something about Granny's.
- Going over to Granny's house on Christmas Day in one of my new outfits to play with my cousins.
- Christmas Eve at Grandma and Grandpa's old house with the pool. I can still remember the smell of that house...I loved that house.
- Grandma entering whatever house we were at on Christmas Eve and saying MERRY MERRY!!!
I still haven't been able to visit either grave site. I know that sounds terrible and awful. But, just thinking about it makes me sob. I feel like that just reinforces the fact that they are gone. I would much rather think of the wonderful times I had with them and there were so so so many. I think the times when I get the most upset are when I think about the things they completely missed. Neither one saw me get married, however, they both knew Chris so that gives me some comfort. They also had no idea that I was going to become a teacher. I know they would have been so proud. They didn't get to see Chris become a firefighter, but again, I know they would be so proud. Oh, what I would give to see my future children in their arms. I am thankful to still have my Grandpa in my life and I hope and pray that he will still be around when I finally get around to having kids. I know if it is up to him he certainly will be!
I am also incredibly thankful to have Chris' Grandma in my life. She is such a caring woman and I know she loves both Chris and me whole-heartedly!
Life goes on, but my memories will always be with me. Sometimes they make me sad, but mostly they make me happy and thankful that I had such amazing women in my life for 24 years.
Think they have the internet in heaven? Just in case...love you Grandma and Granny! xoxo
I wish you all good health and happiness in 2012! HAPPY NEW YEAR! I'm looking forward to big changes in 2012! This is my year - Wahoo!