memories.

Well, Christmas was wonderful, as usual. (Pictures will be posted soon.)  I truly love the holiday season and I can't wait until next year when I am able to enjoy the holiday by having a week or so off of work!  I see lots of baking and crafts with my sister and niece in my future! :)

Since losing both of my grandmothers last year I find some moments during the holiday season bittersweet.  This year I was able to suppress most of my grief, but it always seems to hit in the car in the mornings.  Perfect timing to ruin my newly applied make-up for the day!  I have so so many wonderful memories of my Grandma and Granny during the holidays and I'd like to share a few with you!

• Grandma's spaghetti on Christmas Eve.  When I was young I used to think everyone had spaghetti on Christmas Eve.  They should!
• Granny's Christmas Day feast.  Especially the macaroni and cheese and apples.  Still haven't found a recipe like her mac and cheese and her apples were phenomenal warm, cold, or at room temperature.  Grandma Kearney makes a mean baked apples, but there was something about Granny's.
• Going over to Granny's house on Christmas Day in one of my new outfits to play with my cousins.
• Christmas Eve at Grandma and Grandpa's old house with the pool.  I can still remember the smell of that house...I loved that house.
• Grandma entering whatever house we were at on Christmas Eve and saying MERRY MERRY!!!

There are so many memories that I can't possibly list them all!

I still haven't been able to visit either grave site.  I know that sounds terrible and awful.  But, just thinking about it makes me sob.  I feel like that just reinforces the fact that they are gone.  I would much rather think of the wonderful times I had with them and there were so so so many.  I think the times when I get the most upset are when I think about the things they completely missed.  Neither one saw me get married, however, they both knew Chris so that gives me some comfort.  They also had no idea that I was going to become a teacher.  I know they would have been so proud.  They didn't get to see Chris become a firefighter, but again, I know they would be so proud.  Oh, what I would give to see my future children in their arms.  I am thankful to still have my Grandpa in my life and I hope and pray that he will still be around when I finally get around to having kids.  I know if it is up to him he certainly will be!

I am also incredibly thankful to have Chris' Grandma in my life.  She is such a caring woman and I know she loves both Chris and me whole-heartedly!

Life goes on, but my memories will always be with me.  Sometimes they make me sad, but mostly they make me happy and thankful that I had such amazing women in my life for 24 years.

Think they have the internet in heaven?  Just in case...love you Grandma and Granny! xoxo

I wish you all good health and happiness in 2012!  HAPPY NEW YEAR!  I'm looking forward to big changes in 2012!  This is my year - Wahoo!